It's Not the Size, It's the Depth
"I have 1300 LinkedIn connections. I don't think I know who 1200 of them are."
"I have 5000. Same."
I've had this conversation with so many people. LinkedIn connections are some kind of status symbol. It's like Pokemon, "who can collect them all?". But when it comes time to really do anything with them, does it matter? If you reach out to those people, will they care? Will they pay attention? Will they go to bat for you?
The short answer most of the time is, unfortunately, "No". People are busy, and this is all a lot of noise.
But if you reach out to the right people, who you have a real relationship with, those people will move mountains for you.
Sometimes Size Doesn't Matter
I know, I know, there is surely a comment here. LinkedIn wants me to know that I am second-level connected to 2 million people! Surely, that counts for something. The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon thing exists for a reason. We are all connected. And that is undeniably true. But just because I might be 4 degrees from Kevin Bacon doesn't mean I can call him up and ask him to be in his next movie.
If I am connected to 1000 people, does that really mean I have a relationship with them? Most of them were probably people I met at a conference or a business meeting, or a social event, and only talked to once. Maybe we had a great conversation and thought we would talk more. But most of the time, we never do. So a year goes by, and now I look through my connections, and I can't even remember when or where I met them, much less what we talked about or had in common. Maybe I am super diligent and I wrote a note about them, or sent them a message that I can use to reverse-engineer the conversation. But does it matter? If I don't remember them, and they weren't important enough or interesting enough to talk to again, why would they go out of their way to help me?
And the problem just multiplies. I ask you for an introduction, and you say "Look through my connections and let me know who you want to meet". Maybe the person I want to find is a connection-of-a-connection. If that person is anything like the 1000 people in my network, they don't remember you, and they don't remember the person I want to meet. And even if they agreed to send that person a note on my behalf, could they write something meaningful or personal that would make that person take note? Probably not.
This is why LinkedIn fails as a professional networking site, and has become more of a performative social network where people compete for likes and comments, rather than building meaningful relationships. And this is why we built Prohana to focus on smaller, tighter knit communities.
Why Depth Matters
Okay, so if it isn't a game of sheer numbers, what is it about? The real strength of your network comes from connection and relationship. The deeper the relationship, the better.
A focus on shared experiences and time spent together is key. Most of the people in your 10-20 on Prohana will be former coworkers or friends. They have worked with you and they know what you are capable of. They can say something personal and meaningful about you. And even more importantly, if they are willing to do so, that says something by itself. Every time you make an introduction or a referral, you are putting your reputation on the line to vouch for that person. The person you referred them to will judge you on the strength of the reference. So the fact that you made the reference says something about your opinion of that person, and by extension, about you. And to get to that level of comfort takes time and effort in establishing connection.
There is lots of talk about "being in the trenches" with someone, or "the person you want in the foxhole with you". These are the people you will make references for, and who will make references for you. These are the people you will fight for, because you were happy they were there to fight beside you. Pick your 10-20 people that you want in your foxhole with intentionality. Choose people that you enjoy spending time with, and genuinely want to build relationships with. Don't pick people just because you think they could be valuable one day. If the desire is inauthentic, you won't enjoy the interactions, and it will show.
Now, when someone asks you for an intro, and you reach out to one of those people, they will listen. They will make time to take this seriously. They will be more open to the conversation than they would from some cold intro. This is the essence of a "warm intro". If I am in your 20, and you ask to meet someone in my 20, the likelihood of that turning into something is so much higher than in a wider network without the deep connections.
How is depth created and nurtured?
When you focus on a network of 10-20, every one of those people gets attention. You talk to them regularly, and you build rapport. You share opinions, thoughts, and experiences. You share opportunities and spend time working together. Those people are obviously important to you, because you give them the most important thing you have. You give them your time. And they give you theirs.
Part of creating depth is not diluting your time and effort. Focus on your 10-20, and on creating meaningful interactions. A Zoom call is good if you can dedicate an hour, and if you are not physically near enough to meet in person. A meal is better, and dinner is better than lunch. If that is too much time, coffee or a drink after work is a lower effort activity. If you can't do dinner every time, at least try to do the larger activity every 2nd or 3rd meeting. The extra time, and the increased focus really makes a difference.
Consistency is already really important. Even if you need to do lower effort activities some of the time, that is better than to miss the interaction completely. You can think of the relationship as a tire or a bucket with a slow leak. Every activity you do with this person refills it a little, and if you refill it consistently, you hardly notice that it is leaking. But if you wait too long, it becomes obvious to both of you, and it takes more effort to refill. So even small efforts done consistently are better than missing out because you can't do something big.
Sometimes, you can cover more than 1 person at time, especially if multiple people in your core network are also connected to each other, or if you are trying to make an introduction. But don't get in the habit of only meeting your network in large group settings. The nature of those interactions won't be deep enough to really connect with each person, as you are trying to make time for everyone at the expense of focusing on any one person.
In addition to the meetings, you should be thinking of other ways to build connection with each person. Maybe you have a shared interest in a particular topic, and you can share news on that topic when you see it. Maybe they have a project you can help them with. Maybe they need an introduction you can make. Part of the magic of keeping the circle small is that you can spend some time each day thinking about each person and how you can nurture your connection with them.
Prohana can help with this. As part of your personalized plan, Prohana will suggest activities custom-tailored to each person in your network, based on how you have interacted with them in the past, and what you have been talking about, and what you have told Prohana about your relationship and your goals with that particular person. Each of these activities is another small, simple touchpoint that reinforces the relationship, and keeps you on their radar. The more of these consistent interactions over time, the stronger the relationship can become.
Conclusion
So maybe you do have a big, giant, impressive network. The envy of all of your friends. That's great. They talk about it all the time. But sometimes, size doesn't matter. Instead, you should focus on the deep connections with each one of your battle buddies, the ones you have chosen to be in your foxhole. Your Professional Ohana are the ones you would go to war for, and they would go to war for you. Build those deep relationships, and you will see the true power of connection, not the illusion of being 3 degrees from 10 million people who don't really move the needle.
If you want to build your deep, intentional, powerful network, join Prohana now.